My Award-Winning Table Topic (Impromptu Speech) at London Business School

At London Business School the Division L (London) Humorous Speech and Table Topics Contest was held on October 15. Toastmasters International clubs and contests go like this: Clubs and Contest Levels Club Contest (usually 3-7 contests, from 7-70 members). Area Contest (usually 4-7 contestants from 4-5 clubs) Division Contest (about 7 contestants, usually from several areas). District Contest (a small country such as Singapore. The UK split in the last decade into north and south, including Scotland in the North and Wales and Ireland in the South). I had successfully been first or second in the club and area contests. Being third, at Division level I won't be in the finals. However, if both of the other contestants were to be ill, away on business or holiday, or to get lost or delayed en route, I would be eligible. So I have booked my ticket for the District contest. What are my chances of going forward? Rather slim, in this case. Freddie Daniels has been quite high up in Toastmasters, so he is likely to make the contest a priority. On the other hand, this is only the humorous speech contest plus the Table topics contest, not the prestigious International contest, which ends up with a trip to the USA or other overseas venue, which enables you to become eligible to be World Champion. Has anybody ever fallen ill or been late? Yes. I went to a contest and workshop day in Cambridge. One of the contestants could not find the venue. We had trouble finding it, but we set off to arrive in time for the morning workshop in advance of the contest, so we were still sure to be in time for the afternoon contest. My Table Topic Question You are not allowed to record the contests because it might distract the speakers. So I have to reconstruct what I said from memory. Question: Many inventions benefit mankind but others cause problems. Apart from cars causing pollution, and mobile phones, which invention do you think should never have been invented? Angela Lansbury’s answer: Ladies and Gentelmen and fellow Toastmasters I’m sure you will all agree with me that this is an outrageous question. What modern invention should never have been invented? I can’t think of one. What nonsense - why would we want to turn the clock back to living in a cave or on a camp sides. All inventions should have been invented. Who dreamed up this impossible topic? I shall find out! Of course there are some inventions which have not been success and have not sold well. Every day I am sent emails asking me to buy products I don’t need such as - cockroach crackers, which are probably only needed in Timbuktu. Every invention leads onto a better invention. To sum up : the question is impossible to answer, because everything we benefit from today should have been invented.

Analysis of Topics The first place winner spoke about the Rugby ball. Totally original.Informative on the origins of Rugby. Pun and surprise opening on the pill, nickname for a rugby ball. I suspected he had given the speech before and adapted it. Likely to capture those who liked rugby, males, as well as those who didn't. The second place winner was Freddie Daniels. I was not a judge because I was in the contest, but in both contests (humorous prorated speech and impromptu table topics) I wrote down my guesses as to who would be chosen and in which order). I thought Angela Lansbury, ACG, CL

Timely lessons on being a contest timer

A few months ago, in Spring 2016, at the last round of serious speech contests, I was timer twice. The first occasion, three of us were timers. The chief timer said we should all keep time, so that in the event of a dispute about the time, the two who agreed would carry the vote.

TRAINING TIMERS The chief timer sat between the two novices she was training to be timers. I needed to be timer to complete my competent leader manual projects. The chief timer wanted me trained so that as Area Governor she could call on me for small clubs and starter clubs where the members all had roles giving speeches and a timer was needed. MOBILE PHONE TIMER She showed me that my mobile phone had a timer. You go onto your mobile phone home pages, set the icons in alphabetical order, look for the symbol and the word clock, click on it to open it, then look for the word timer or the icon or symbol of an egg timer. You set a time the way you set any digital clock. Two spinning numbers go up and down to show hours on the left, for minutes in the middle, and for seconds on the right. Also look for the buttons saying set and re-set, start and stop. Club Meeting TWO TIMER The second time I was timer, was not at a contest but at a club meeting. Having done it once before, and not being at a contest where so much is at stake for contestants, I was far more confident. CONTEST TIMING For a speech timer, you note in the agenda that the speech is 5-7 minutes and the green light is at five, yellow at 6, red at severn, overtime at 7.30. You simply set your stopwatch at 0, click start as the speaker begins to speak. Flipping Coloured Cards When you get to five minutes, the minimum requirement for a speech, you flip the green card, (or turn the switch to operate the green light. Keep watching for six minutes, then flick over the yellow. Finally, at 7 minutes, the limit, you turn over the red card. Keeping Alert You need to practise this. I decided that the more experienced timer should nudge my elbow when it was time to turn over the cards. On one occasion I was so engrossed in the speech that I forgot to flip the car, so this was necessary! Recently, at the autumn humorous speech contests in 2016, I have been a timer two nights in succession at different club contests. I discovered a way to keep a record of the fact that you are timer if you are not given a certificate, use the timer display label which is used at clubs with desks or tables in Singapore.

Another Timer For Mobiles At the first contest I said I'd been a timer before but would need help operating the stopwatch. The Contest chair decided that I would simply turn the cards and the more experienced timer would watch the time. Both of us timers raised our eyebrows at each other. We thought the purpose of having two timers was so that you could have two opinions. The briefing was done by the Contest Organiser who combined that role with Chief Judge. She was not the contest chair who did the introductions from the lectern. The Contest Organiser told us to throw away the sheet records and forget the results and tell nobody, not even our nearest and dearest, after the contest. If you have only three speakers and two run over time and only one prize is awarded it is obvious who has run over time. At least it is obvious to the audience of experienced toastmasters members. Or anybody who is alert and with a knowledge of numbers. (However, it might not be obvious to family members and other VIP guests who simply note if their own family or friend has come first. Nor does it matter to anybody who simply enjoys the speeches, without knowing the contestants nor caring which one wins first place or how many win prizes.) The form A form is filled in with the contestants in order of speaking, and their times. Only one form. The two or three timers discuss the timing and agree. At one contest I was a bit sleepy and slow and started my timer a second or two later than the other timer. A speaker went over time by one second on the first mobile. But it was touch and go as to whether he said his last word and whether one's finger pressed the stop button exactly on the time. The chief timer wrote down the time allowing the speaker to complete in time, by one second. I nodded agreement. At my previous contest, we discussed how long the timings were for each part of the contest and I wrote them on the agenda. The agenda allowed 20 minutes for the evaluations by three to five speakers, but no indication of the length of each evaluation. At first I thought the length was two minutes, like table topics, with the green yellow and red at one, one and a half and two, and disqualification at two and a half. No. Evaluations last 2 minutes minimum. The three cards are shown at 2, 2 and a half and 3. Disqualification at three and a half. The buzzer for over time does not go after the speeches nor the evaluations. The only occasion when the buzzer is rung is after the test speaker, if he or she goes more than thirty seconds beyond the 7 minute limit. That allows the evaluators to comment on the timeliness of the test speaker. The third time I was timer, one of the contestants stopped mid-speech and asked, "Where are the lights?" In the second half I insisted on demonstrating the lights to the audience and the contestants. By the fourth occasion that I was timer, having had the alarm with a contestant who failed to spot the lights, I interrupted the chair person to say, "May I demonstrate the lights!" She said, "Yes, I am coming to that shortly." At the most recent contest, the other timer had a larger screen mobile showing not just a tiny clock face (on the timer which came installed on my phone) but the numbers very large. I admired his phone and said I wished I had the same. He replied, "It's an ap - you can download it." He showed me how to download the ap from apple play. I had previously ignored the Apple play symbol, thinking it was just games. A free ap. In two seconds, and a thumb or finger on the sign INSTALL, I had a time counter. Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, speaker and author.

Using your mobile smartphone to record speeches and evaluations

I was reading a forum on LinkedIn where a member was complaining about the time wasted waiting for manuals and brochures to arrive, during which time you could miss two meetings.

The new system due out in two years time will allow you to download manuals. Meanwhile, what can you do?

Many clubs buy spare copies of manuals. At the back of your first speech manual is the first speech from the Entertaining manual to get you started on your next project.

We need a whole section on using your smartphone at meetings. I went to a meeting in Singapore. One evaluator read his evaluation, prompted by his notes on his smartphone.

Another propped his smartphone against a water bottle (on the huge table we sat around) in order to records his speech and evaluation. (He did both at one meeting).

Angela Lansbury, CL, ACB.

Speech Tips video, Wigs For Cancer Patients, This life at HOD Meeting Jan 7 2015

Positive Peter, the President
Positive Peter, our HOD President, Peter Jacques, opened the meeting enthusiastically, commenting alliteratively on the 'terrific turnout'. He asked us all to say Hello to the guests. Everybody waved at the guests.
 He asked those who attended the Xmas party to put up their hands and told everybody else that those who'd been to the party were smiling. He reminded us that members could attend a BBQ party in the summer as well as looking forward to next year's party.

He asked if any guest had experience in speaking, and asked that person, 'Please come up and join me,' and gave them a printed copy of the Toastmasters International mission statement to read to us.

Peter told us to 'have a good time' and that speakers should remember 'we are on your side'.

Jolly Justas, the TME
Our Toastmaster of the evening was jolly Justas, who told us we had 24 meetings and 72 speeches to enjoy. We could also help ourselves to enjoy a cup of water at the table at the door of the hall where we met. His theme was the Beatles "All we need is love" which had inspired him to come to England. He also told us that 'each of you has the right to vote'.

Looking back at my notes, I find that he referred to the place where we have coffee and chocolate biscuits at break time as the Rest room, which in the USA is the toilet. He should have said Recreation room. I forgot to mention it later when I was GE and don't remember the Grammarian mentioning it.

He told everybody, 'we like to clap!'
His great joke was when showing us the voting slips, he told us that he won a ribbon for best speech by voting for himself when everybody else forgot to vote.

Timing
Timer of the evening was a newcomer, so President Peter explained timings in a twosome with the new timer who held up the green, yellow and red timing cards. A great system to act as a duo, with the more experienced person leading the way, the other person learning and taking part in a supporting role. Like a comedy duo.

Peter's parting words were positive, 'Try to stick to timings and have a great time'. Only when typing this up did I notice the pun in the last two words.

Ah Counter, Roni
Roni Savage was given the role of Ah counter, a role which was introduced to the club only recently. When you have lots of people in the audience, or new members or guests, it's an extra role you can give out which sounds easy and even the shyest person can hardly refuse.

She told us she would be looking for 'crutch words'.

Grammarian, Lily
Lily arrived on stage saying 'Thank you, Mr Toastmaster'. In some clubs the roles of Ah counter and Grammarian are rolled into one.

Vowels, Consonants and Pronunciation
Notice the difference between crutch and crotch. What a difference in visions a vowel can make.

Regarding pronunciation, without mentioning any names, a couple of people during the evening dropped their Gs. French is a language where it has become the norm to drop the last letter.

However, in English we still expect the word speaking to be pronounced speaking and not speak in. The word writing should be pronounced writing, not write in. Smiling should be pronounced smiling, not smile in.

Pronounce the words correctly to get praise from English speakers. You will also get increased understanding from those struggling with English as a second language.

This Life Joke by Sandeep
We opened the prepared speech section with an introductory speech by Sandeep which he entitled This Lifetime. His memorable joke was that Hindus believe in reincarnation so they have many lives, but with only a 5-7 minute slot he would limit himself to one life, the present one.

Sandeep said his father's job meant that Sandeep kept changing schools. This made him feel like an outsider.

How interesting - because so many people say the same but give different reasons, they were a different race or religion or simply changed schools. Newcomers at a club meeting also feel like outsiders, until they are welcomed, or assigned a mentor.

Making A Difference by Eli
Eli had a huge roll-down poster about the charity he is promoting which gives wigs to children having cancer treatment so they can feel confident and glamorous.

Speech Writing tips from Coralie
Coralie's innovation was a video presentation on how to write a speech, to help those who tell mentors they don't know where to begin. Her useful advice included always carry a notebook and pencil specifically for recording speech ideas. This was backed up by her holding up and pen and pencil, a photo of a person writing, and holding up a mobile phone which can be used for note taking.

After the break, Justas made us all stand up and copy his slow hand movements as he hand clapped three times. He said teachers do that to make pupils pay attention to the teacher.

The Break
During the break we enjoyed a very good selection of chocolate biscuits.

Justas addressed the speakers by roles and first names prefaced by the word Mr - please welcome Mr David.

In my General Evaluator role I commented that it simultaneously paid the person an honour, whilst being friendly.

You can watch my evaluation of the evaluators on video.

Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, author and speaker.

Jolly Justas

President, Positive Peter helps timer who holds cards

Eli's speech about helping children with cancer feel better by wearing wigs

Coralie's video of speech tips included suggesting recording speech ideas on your mobile phone

Photos by Angela Lansbury.

Jolly Justas presents Angela Lansbury with ribbon for best evaluator of topics

Angela Lansbury, CL, ACG