The Joys of A Party At Black Pepper Celebrating Steve Brewer's Successfully Becoming Distinguished Toastmaster

Steve Brewer celebrating his success.

What makes you attend a party, pull or push? I missed the Watford Speaker's Club Christmas Party. Was it because the dates clashed, or simply that I had so many parties, or that nobody phone me personally? Or was the clincher the fact that I already had two wine club parties and two Speakers' Club parties and had to miss the Writer's Circle party because it clashed with another party?

When I went to the party in January celebrating Steve Brewer's success I enjoyed it so much that I regretted not attending the Watford club party the previous December and vowed that I would join them next year. What was so good about the party for Steve Brewer? Every club or event succeeds because one or two or more people devote lots of time and effort into making the event happen. Instead of seeing organising as a chore, those in charge look forward to managing the details as a preview and extension of the joy of the occasion.

Whether you are arranging a party or a wedding or a funeral, what keeps you going is the desire to see friends or family, honour somebody and have a successful event including all the elements you feel are either necessary or pluses. Let's look at the elements of a successful celebration and speech: First pick a date which suits your VIP.

Venue and Date
Choose a date when it is celebration season, or a date when no rival events take place and restaurant prices are advantageous. January was a good date. No rival events claimed our time and money. Invitations Send out invitations. Note in the original invitation or a follow up personal note or phone call why the recipient will be welcome or why the VIP is a VIP.

Partymania shop, Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Banners and Balloons
Ask the venue to provide banners and balloons or supply them and arrive early so they are up before the arrival of the most guests and the VIP. Opposite Black Pepper restaurant in Hatch End is a party shop called Party Mania. Another party shop is in Stanmore. You will find similar ones worldwide, and if not, there's always the web, so allow a month for anything you want to order on line, with delivery from China and the Far East to Europe or America and in the opposite direction.

(A club organiser might have a box of party ware. Harrovians club used to keep Xmas items from year to the next, including banners and a Santa Claus outfit. The trick is to keep a note of who took the goods home. One year it took a week or ringing around to find out who had the old Santa Claus outfit. Sometimes a hoarder has an attic and is keen to keep items to supply to numerous clubs of which they are a member. Other times nobody wants the clutter the responsibility and nuisance of storing and labelling and transporting back and forth. It's just a question of finding which committee member or person living near the club venue wants to take home the leftover banners, and whether they are willing and able to produce them at the next event.

 Venue and Decor Menu, food and drink

 Socialising and mixing Speeches
 All went well. (Another post in my travel blog features more on the restaurant.
 (This is a Draft - saved so as no to lose it. More text and photos to be added later.

Challenging The Contestants and Judges - who can challenge?

I have sat in a contest and listened to a so-called Prepared Speech given by a contestant which was based on a humorous story (in the humorous speech contest) which was basically an elaboration of a joke going around, but told as if it had happened to the speaker and a girl he met on the internet for a blind date.

In a contest organised by Toastmasters International clubs worldwide the Prepared Speech must be substantially original, although you can use up to 25% of quoted material provided you attribute it to the source and do not pass it off as your own. So, for example, you could not pretend that Martin Luther King's speech I Have A Dream or any speech by a well known speaker such as Anthony Robbins was your own material. However, you could give a speech quoting them and showing how they had influenced your life or were still as relevant today to todays audience as the time you had first heard them.

The only people allowed to challenge the originality are other (peeved!) contestants or the judges (supposed to be judging the content as well as the performance). However, you are mainly judging performance, not contest, even if you do not agree with what was said. Download the judging form or read it on line. You can see that marks are given for structure, gesture, use of stage and so on.  Right at the end is a mark for use of voice, correct pronunciation and grammar. So if two speakers give equally good speeches, but one is full of mispronunciations, oddly contracted sentences, and ambiguities, or jargon or local dialects, that speaker loses a vital point which could tip the balance.

As a judge I have often found it hard to distinguish and choose between a well written speech badly performed and a badly written speech well performed. But it is not a speech-writing contest, but a test of speaking, not writing.

Supposing I run a club and I'm looking for an after dinner speaker. Who would I choose? I'd probably choose the better speaker, and ask him to ensure that the content was original and relevant to my audience, rather than trying to persuade the speaker that the contest was lovely but please be more animated.

A recent contestant in the impromptu speech contest gave an amusing speech about how irrelevant performance was in every day life, because you would not use exaggerated gestures to somebody you met at the MRT (Singapore's mostly underground tube train).

Angela Lansbury, writer and speaker, member of HOD and Harrovians speakers clubs in London, England.

What An Evening Christmas in Harrow with Harrovians Speakers Club Monday Dec 7 2015

Amparo's Speech on The Spanish Lottery, El Gordo

Amparo told up about how her family, and many families in Spain, do the Spanish Lottery. It is called El Gordo meaning the big one, because of the large prize.

It is a large prize because the amount you have to bet is large. The amount you have to bet is more than many are willing and able to pay. So groups of people get together and contribute a share towards the betting money. Then of course the whole group are all equally interested in gathering together to hear the results.

Angela's Speech
on Harrow Arts Centre

Highlights of Speeches at Harrovians Speakers Club Monday November 30th 2015

 The President of Harrovians' Speakers' Club, Seema Menon, CC, ALB, opened the meeting with the best welcoming speech I have ever heard.

Standing Firmly or Moving?

She gave us a quick guide to how to stand looking firm and authoritative when speaking. Then how to use the stage when speaking, moving to show progress through life or time, but not marching up and down distractingly.

Our Toastmaster of the evening was Karen, a tall figure with an enviable statuesque, commanding height but a warm manner, friendly smile and soothing voice.

  The enthusiasm and confidence of members and guests received a momentary setback when Warren stood up to deliberately challenge us with table topics of the kind that interviewers use to throw us off guard and reveal our weaknesses.
   Guest and returning member Francis West was delighted at the warm reception he received from  several of us. I see him regularly on Facebook, so I was delighted to meet him again in person. Warren Sheng, ACS, ALB, an old-timer, and long-term membership secretary regards every departing member as a personal loss, and every member returning as a guest as a personal triumph.

Challenging Topics

I was aghast at Warren's opening question, to Francis, in the form of a table topic of impromptu speech. What was your worst business mistake?
 West's reply was that it was giving an investor a 51% stake in the company, which enabled somebody else to later tell West to leave the company which he had founded. He recalled leaving, not even taking his computer.
   I'd always heard about keeping a 51% share of the company so that you had the majority vote on any decisions. I had also heard of people being asked to leave the company they had founded. But I had not seen the two events juxtaposed so vividly - in the two minutes allowed for an impromptu speech. Francis won the ribbon for the best table topic answer.
 
The other guest, Indra's aunt, was given another challenging topic, about explaining sex. How do you tell a seven-year-old boy child where babies come from? She produced a brilliant answer to avoid the facts of life. She said: 'A man and woman get together and love each other they make a baby. But making a baby is like a recipe for making a cake. It's quite complicated and you wouldn't understand it or be able to do it until you are older. When you are ready, we will explain the whole thing to you. The simple version, and all you need to know now, is, that the important ingredients are a man and woman being together and the fact that they love each other.'

Warren's other challenging topics included: 'When have you regretted being married?' Warren knows the secret to humour is to follow the start of the sentence with its opposite. He said,  'I have only regretted being married once, or twice - a day.'

Prepared Speeches

Every Cloud Has a Silver Living
We then moved on to the prepared speech. I spoke first on the subject: 'Every cloud has a silver lining.' I held up an umbrella against the rain that falls into every life. My three stories are described in another post in my blog on Toastmasters. I began with the story about my uncle whose disadvantage in life was that he was colour blind. So when he joined the RAF in WWII he could not be a pilot; he was very disappointed. But because of this seeming disadvantage, he survived WWII, and outlived everybody he knew.

 Francis evaluated my speech, giving valuable feedback. I had followed Seema's advice and moved forward across the stage from the first story about my uncle, set in 2002, to the next story, the London bombing, set in 2005. Francis explained on how I could improve my use of the stage, stepping forward across the stage, yet again, for the last story (the Paris bombing in 2015), but although the stage movements could be steps and pauses, verbally I need to make stronger verbal transitions or connections from one story to the next.

The Most Important Day

 Sanjay won the best evaluator ribbon for his analysis of a speech by Jesus on 'the most important day in the 1960s', the day Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon. Jesus began with a count-down:, 'Ten, nine, eight ...' He ended dramatically 'with a giant leap for mankind,' taking an emphatic step, stamping on the stage.

Sanjay's useful tip on how this excellent speech could be made even better, was to turn the title into a question or something generating excitement.

India and England

 We also enjoyed an entertaining ice breaker speech introducing us to new member Vipul. Lorna, his evaluator, was warm and encouraging. She complimented him on his 'conversational style', said 'his enthusiasm shone through' and 'he has made a great start to his Toastmasters journey.'

I loved his phrases contrasting England and India. He said that India was known by the English, nowadays, as 'a land of snake charmers and - call centres'. That got a laugh. His school in India taught him :'more about cricket than mathematics'.

Amparo, our Grammarian, gave us the word of the day Gravitate. Several of us were able to incorporate into our speeches. One useful trick is to write the word of the day at the top of your speech notes and use the word straight away in your opening sentence.

Presentation to Indra Sikdar

Former President Indra Sikdar was presented with an antique ship's compass (an appropriate and personal gift thoughtfully chosen in honour of the fact that his late father worked in shipping). Indra was a founder member of Harrovians and has been a constant supporter through the years, bringing guests and organising and helping in innumerable ways.

Angela Lansbury, ACG, CL.

Glossary Of awards from Toastmasters International, HQ in the USA
ACS Advanced Communicator Silver
ALB Advanced Leader Bronze
ACG Advanced Communicator Gold
CC Competent Communicator
CL Competent Leader

Amparo, grammarian, chose gravitate as word of the day.She added a word to our working vocabulary, as well as reminding us not to keep repeating word fillers such as 'so ...'.

President Seema instructed us on standing sill and moving.

Seema presented ribbons.

Angela won best speaker ribbon.

V i p u l achieved first step with his first icebreaker speech.

The audience.

More happy faces.

Photos by Angela Lansbury. In this one you see me in the second row behind Seema and next to Warren. Francis has kindly offered to take a photo so I can be in the picture.

Newsletter report by Angela Lansbury.

Next club meetings, last chance, two chances, in 2015, Monday December 6th and Monday December 13th for the pot luck party. Bring your best seasonal stories and some seasonal food.

For more details on Toastmasters International club meetings worldwide, check Toastmasters International Find a club. Check with clubs about their December and January meeting dates and venues. Some clubs have their Christmas meetings at local restaurants. 

The Power Of Repeating Short Phrases:

Angela Lansbury (annalondon8@gmail.com)

President Harrovian Speakers 2012; Associate Area Governor at Toastmasters International 2011

Toastmasters' teaches how to use persuasive speeches and rules for getting across an idea using repetition - framing or bookending, repetition, and a punchline. 

Think of beginnings: Once upon a time

Think of repetition: Chorus lines: He's got the whole world in his hands

Think of happy endings: They all lived happily ever after

Think of biblical phrases: Thy rod and staff they comfort me - though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil

Motivational phrases Feel the fear and do it anyway

Repetition technigues are used to convince people of a truth or course of action in children and adults

1 Speeches
2 Rote learning (times tables, poetry)
3 Hypnosis (confidence, losing weight, conquering fear)
4 Superstition (always throw salt, don't walk under ladders)
5 Safety rules

6 Brainwashing
7 Religion (learn to say to yourself or repeat aloud to others: prayers, mantras, tracts, entire books, phrases said when you are born, marry and die).
8 Amusing, memorable, short phrases, easily remembered and repeated.
9 A support group: Toastmasters, family, school, uni, alumni, religion, political party.

10 Changing one set of ideas for another or the reverse - leading to enthusiasm for the new and canvassing against the old (consider conversion to another religion, rejection of non believers). It is amazing how quickly you can get a large number of people killing whilst reciting a religious mantra, or sending a hashtag worldwide.

Understanding the effect of positives and negatives and repetition helps you understand your own internal motivation. You can maintain confidence, or destroy confidence, in yourself and other individuals (as a coach). 

Also public speaking can affect groups, committees, business, finance, sales and writing. We need to understand how these processes appeal, lose members, and recruit followers. Then we can see how speaking, the media, and propaganda, support leaders, heroes and villains, followers and supporters, the terrified and the terrorists, and can affect large numbers of people.

Angela Lansbury BA Hons. Red Research.
Author of How To Get Out Of The Mess You're In. Speaker, blogger, trainer. Books. Articles. Poetry. Puppets. HOD speakers. Harrovians Speakers. YouTube. Facebook. LinkedIn.

Fear, Happiness and Improv Songwriting - What an Evening of speeches at Harrovians Monday 5 Jan 2014

What An Evening
Fear, Happiness and Improv Songwriting - What an Evening of speeches at Harrovians Monday 5 Jan 2014 at Glebe Hall, Stanmore, cosy with the electric fire.

What do you do when the President is away and not enough people reply to emails? While President Indra was away in India, or maybe an Indian restaurant, past past president Ruth Vishnick CC followed the precedents Indra and another past President Gosbert had established by reading out the Toastmasters mission statement. She then quickly, enthusiastically handed over steering the evening's proceedings to Minh, beaming, debut Toastmaster of the Evening.

Minh's New Year Theme
Minh Tran had received emails from several members on New Year Resolutions and tips for running your year and life. She had supplemented them with her own favourite ideas, selected from the internet, printed them out and placed them in an envelope for each person taking the stage to read. This system gave the evening a coherent running theme, as well as  holding the audience's attention with an element of surprise

Happy Time
Karen Carter, seemed very happy in her Happy Hour as time keeper of the evening. By happy chance, when Minh called Karen to tell us how the timing works, Karen selected a tip on time keeping, a quotation from Abraham Lincoln, that those of us poor in other ways are rich in time. Karen continued on a positive note, saying that as time keeper, her job was to help us keep to time.

So often I've heard time keepers emphasize negative aspects of running over time. I must remember to advise future timekeepers to emphasize the benefits of keeping to time.

How helpful it is to have a timekeeper warning us how well we are doing.  Speakers see they have successfully reached the green light for the minimum time allotted. Then they see orange, suggesting that it's a good time to move towards the conclusion. Finally, on the red light it's over - time's up - we have successfully spoken right to the last second, as Rudyard Kipling said in his poem If: 'filling every minute ...'

Grammarian
Grammarian Chinamelu Ezeh (Chi for short) gave us the word of the day, obstreperous.

Veeren Taylor presented a variety of table topics for brief impromptu speeches, all thought-provoking  subjects without being over-challenging.

Table Topics

Happiness -The First Prepared Speech Subject
Sachin Madhav

Introduction to happy Harri Sethi
Harri gave us a classic rags to riches story. In his childhood his father had fallen ill and while the parent was ill the business lost all its money. Harri grew up fast, with more responsibility than is usual for a child. The good news was he ended up, with his father's encouragement, seeking to be qualified to work in business and finance, coming to the UK to further his studies. He is now furthering his skills by attending our Toastmasters International speakers' training club.

Fear by Nigel Tranah

Evaluations of Speeches
Seema
Ruth
Warren evaluating Angela

Prize Winners
Prize winners were Nigel for best prepared speech.

Warren won a ribbon for best evaluation of a speech.

 For best impromptu table topic, Ampara.

For my speech on
What the Brighton Speakers conference taught us about performing on stage, using props and improvising songs, see next post.

Evaluations

CC = Competent Communicator (One who has completed the ten speeches in the first manual).
CL=Competent Leader
ACB= Advanced Communicator Bronze (20 speeches)
ACS=Advanced Communicator Silver (30 speeches)
ACG Advanced Communicator Gold (40 speeches)

Meetings are held twice, occasionally three times a month.
The next meeting is on Monday January 19th.
Speech Contest is Feb 2nd 2015.
Club Officer Training is at the venue of sister club HOD. (I am a member of both).
Guests are very welcome at both Toastmaster Clubs. if you wish to attend a meeting please contact the clubs through their website(s). Toastmasters International Find a club. The clubs are also on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube.

Angela Lansbury CC ACG