HOW TO RUN A MENTORING SYSTEM IN A CLUB

ADVANTAGES OF MENTORS

HISTORY OF MENTORS

The name Mentor comes from a Greek man named Mentor.

 When Odysseus went of to fight the Trojan war, he appointed his friend Mentor to be tutor and adviser to the Son of Odysseus.

PLAN CLUB MENTORING

You know the saying, you don’t plan to fail, you fail to plan. 

A club should plan to copy the action of Odysseus, and appointing a mentor to every new member. 

Why are mentors necessary? Newcomers are nervous and need encouragement. Meetings are often run by people who make mistakes because they have not been briefed to meet speech objectives, nor how to do roles such as timer. For years in the UK I avoided being timer. Firstly, I wanted to speak. Secondly, I was scared to operate the lights. 

HOW I LEARNED TIMING

Finally, in Singapore, I was one of three timers in a contest. The incentive was that in Singapore contest timers are given a small certificate of appreciation and a tiny gift from a pound or dollar store, such as a notebook. 

I had plenty of advice for other timers: Find a quotation about time. Check the timing on the agenda. Look confident so that speakers and visitors are confident. Don't ask what to do loudly in front of newcomers. Ask a committee member for advice privately in advance. 

Don't apologise. Don't say, 'Sorry, sorry'. Instead say, 'Thank you for that information', or, 'Thank you for that decision', or, 'Thank you for that update'. 

My mentor for this timer role was my good friend Carolyn who was in charge, taking the responsibility. She showed me how to use my mobile as a timer. 

I jumped from being the person who kept refusing to be a timer, to the one who wanted the timer role. I wanted to practise my new skill. I had learned how to use my phone to time my own speeches. I wanted the small free gift. I wanted to contribute because I was sharing in the free food at the contest, although I was not paying a club membership fee. I also wanted to complete my manual of roles needed for a Competent Leader certificate.

CHALLENGES

Problems Mentors Can Solve

1 Some new members join and never come to meetings or watch for 6 months, a year, even two years and never give a speech.

2 Old members drop out because speech slots are allotted to newcomers, ribbons go to newcomers, nobody is their mentor so they miss out on networking and friendship.

3 A person takes on the role of mentoring co-ordinator but gets disheartened and confused when members don't reply to emails and phone calls. 

Answers For What Mentors Can Do

Co-ordinating mentors sounds simple but involves a lot of briefing and chasing. It's too much work to add to other committee members.

Your club needs a specific Mentoring co-ordinator helped by two others, a committee of three. 

If any member or mentor is absent for more than two meetings they must ask another person to take over their role.

You need one mentor to ensure first timers give a first speech which fulfils manual objective.

You need a life coach mentor to ensure the mentee is fulfilling their aim, whether it's to complete a specific project such as a wedding speech or funeral speech. 

You need a mentor as a life coach to ensure that the speeches add up to a set on a theme presenting the mentee as an expert who can become a professional speaker to businesses or as a fund raiser for charities. 

Mentors need mentees to complete project 8 of the CL manual. This offers two options: Mentor a new member's first three speeches. Mentor an existing member.

A member can have more than one mentor. In fact every member should have a backup mentor. And every mentor should have a second potential mentee. Why? Because often a member toes on holiday or is away on business. Younger members drop out because they move house, get a job in another area, or have a baby. Older members drop out because they become carers for a parent, go into hospital, retire overseas.

You can cling onto your former members and mentors by keeping them on a list of backup mentees and keep in touch by email and Skype.

MY FIRST MENTOR, INDRA

I’m going to tell you about my first mentor, Indra, my mentee . 

My first mentor, Indra Sikdar taught me to use props.

Later, I went to Singapore and mentored Martin Doe on Skype.

Indra was my mentor when I first joined the club. He came round to my house the weekend before and listened to my speech. He arrived promptly at 11 and left at 12. 

You can be a mutual mentor. Every member.

MY FIRST MENTEE - WARREN SHENG

I was away in Singapore when I was emailed that new member Warren Sheng had requested me as a mentor. I was immensely flattered. Warren Sheng is of Taiwanese origin. I must have spent several hours listening to his life story for his first speech, condensing the stories, identifying what is most interesting to an English audience. he rewarded me in two ways, with a present and with praise. He took me to a musical for which he had free tickets. He praised me at every meeting for months, years afterwards. Just as I still praise Indra for inspiring me to use props. 

If the president and VPE are busy, 

CLUB MENTORING CHECKLISTS

1 Keep a mentoring list. Start with giving the mentoring co-ordinator a list of members. Inform them of the name and email and phone number of new members, the new members experience in speaking, their fears, and hopes or aims.

MEMBERSHIP PR

At the start of every meeting, PR / President / Membership / meeter and greeter should tell newcomers if they are planning to join a club, think of who they would like as a mentor, who they would like to mentor, what kind of progress they want (using props and slides, adding humour, structuring speeches, finding subjects or expertise.

Those who join a club for fun, to make friends, might be aiming at being entertaining. They could be directed to mentors who are good at humour, to watching videos of humorous speeches.

HOD'S MEMBERSHIP MAN MIKE

In HOD we found trouble matching up mentors and mentees. Firstly, some mentors were not confident in mentoring advanced speeches. Our revised system was to appoint an expert for each type of speech, one for visual aids, one for props, one for humour. Mike, the membership secretary who dealt with new members, had already been mentor for a couple of new members, so he became mentor for all new members. That had the advantage of getting all the new embers started. Nobody had to exchange information or keep lists. He already had the members details. He already had rapport.

Any disadvantages? In some clubs the president mentors all the bright, young, pretty girls. Other members are offered as mentees the challenges, those who cannot speak or write English, so you spend two hours trying to work out what they mean, listening to long explanation, offering three alternatives for every sentence. Those absentee members who are overseas or away sick. They never complete three speeches needed for the mentorship project 8. Other new members are fussy, picky, dissatisfied, keep falling out with people and  / or keep changing mentors. Emails are not answered by people who are too busy. Some people will happily chat on the phone but won't answer emails. The productive, busy people have a large inbox and ignore non work emails. The shy ones are scared to open the email, write and re-word every email thirty times, then never send the reply. 

Whose Job Is It To Phone?

The busy people are impatient, "I never got a reply to my email. I'm not wasting any more time. It's up to the mentee to contact me!"  

Another (me) says, "But a new, shy member joining to gain confidence needs hand-holding and baby-sitting." Is the mentor's job to instruct, direct the mentee to manuals and websites? Or to listen to somebody's life story and and nod whilst the mentee talks through the options and makes their own decisions? 

A controlling mentor can frighten off a potential or actual member. I've heard people say, "If they don't want to contribute we don't want them in our club. They have no right to turn up for a competition and put us on their CV and do nothing for other members." 

However, others say, "It's the members who pay and don't turn up who keep our club financially afloat."

On the other hand, strict timekeepers, the judgers (on the Myers Briggs personality typing system) can be good at getting the shy to take action and give a speech. Indra actually drove me to the first meetings. No chance of being late or deciding at the last minute I couldn't do it. A mentor can smile and nod and rehearse a speech at the venue so the mentee walks on stage with the speech clear in their mind to give without notes.  

MEMBERS' AND MENTEES' MOTIVES

Those who join a club for career advancement (in house clubs) might be more interested in informative speeches, or adding humour to their dull presentations, or correcting their pronunciation, plus spelling, grammar and layout of slides.

Tell newcomers that they will be given a mentor, It’s not an option. They may already be an expert and just want feedback on their next project from an audience. Their first feedback is from an audience of one, the mentor. 

MENTORS' GAINS INCLUDE GRATITUTE

The mentor is not only doing them a favour. 

The mentee reciprocates by hearing the mentor’s speech.

He asked if i would listen to his speech. I could not say no.

Your club mentor tells mentees: You get two manuals.

The mentor should ensure the mentee signs up for roles, learns how to use the club website. The mentor is the go between. The mentor watches that the mentee starts. I’ve heard people say, I was a member for a year before I gave my first speech. When you go to school, everybody in the class is expected to attend every lesson and take the exam at the end of the year. Every club members should

Martin we had to send large files through Dropbox, not email. He won the competition and was voted best speaker.

PUBLIC RECOGNITION

Finally, in Singapore at one successful club they hold an induction ceremony. The mentee pledges in front of all the members to turn up on time, prepare speeches. The official photographer photograph the mentee with their mentor, usually a set of three or four pairs. 

Later, if a mentee wins a ribbon or contest, they might thank their mentor (like an acceptance speech at an Oscar ceremony by film stars I'd like to thank my mentor ...."

To Summarise

Any questions? (When training I would ask:)

"Who has a mentor? Who doesn’t have a mentor? Only the two visitors. Join the club and you get your manuals, and a mentor!"

HOD Experience

Mike Freedman of HOD has successfully mentored all the first timers at HOD after we found that it was complicated to organise lots of different mentors and we needed to get first timers on the right track. The membership sales person was already in touch with new members. This keeps up momentum. Sigh disadvantage that other would-be mentors might get overlooked. 

(One guy, the mentor, gets to meet all the pretty girls! Spreads the opportunities since in some clubs full of young singletons, usually the single club president gets to meet all the eligible girls.)

I think we shall have to create the rule that anybody who drops out of any role, whether a speaking slot at a club meeting, or a club officer training, has to find a substitute. You don’t have to do a job yourself. You just have to see that somebody does it. 

This is done in Singapore where a large proportion of members are working and the president cannot fill several slots at the last minute. People are often away working, so they send an email to half a dozen people, sometimes on what’s ap, asking 'who can replace me. I got lots of opportunities from people who dropped out. In this case Lorna may have been taken by surprise. In future we could set up a kind of buddy system, including mentors and mentees taking over each other’s roles.

TIPS

Thanks to mentors and speakers (my helpers Lorna and Ruth from Harrovians, both on holiday) for telling us in good time that you can’t make the 2017 meeting or training date and sending in your accounts of your experiences. 

Thanks to Lorna for the good idea about guidelines for mentors and mentees. 

Action points:

1 Mentors’ committee/workshop ; Create 10 commandments

Create not just a handout to mentoring organisers but also we should create a ten commandments for mentors and mentees.

For Future Mentor Training In Club or In Area

 Would anybody else extravert from a club committee like to take the mentor's slot?

If not, ask somebody from another club. 

MENTORING COMMITTEE

Who should be on the mentoring committee?

Any member who does not have a committee role but wants to be involved with the fun and responsibility of helping the committee and running the club.

People often have two opposite kinds of skills. One loud extravert person can talk but not plan. 

Another quiet introvert can make plans and lists but is afraid to speak. Pair them up into a mentoring committee. 

One person has agendas and ideas. 

A second person lists action points. 

A third person hands out information, posts the list.

1 The talker is the mentoring PR, the go-between who pairs up the mentor and mentee. 

2 The record keeper lists mentors and mentees, checks that every new member has a mentee. Every experienced or advanced mentor gets a mentee to complete project 8 in the leadership manual which is vital to finishing the manual and getting the CL award.  

whichA third person is called upon to observe and backup, and takes over automatically when one of the others is on holiday. Ask mentors and mentees to notify each other and the mentoring co-ordinator.

GUIDELINES

Thanks to Lorna for suggesting guidelines. Each club can set its own guidelines. For example:

Mentoring co-ordinator Guidelines

Attend club office training. Obtain feedback from those who cannot attend. Give assistants guidelines. Meet other members at the committee meeting or club meeting. Update membership list and ask President to send all members the contact details and system for mentoring. 

Checklist:

1 Appoint committee.

2  Get their emails and phone numbers. 

3 Or connect on What's Ap.

4 See club membership list on line. (In UK on Easyspeak.)

5 Check each member has a mentor.

6 Make announcement at meetings about obtaining a mentor, eg before break time. Tell those needing mentors and mentees to go to a place, such as to the right of the food table to meet the mentoring committee.

7 Have photos of mentors and mentees. (This helps ensure that everybody in the club is paired, not one person mentoring everybody.)

8 Arrange a mentor thank you session for end of year, when mentees thank mentors and mentors thank mentees.

Mentor

Email mentee saying whether you can speak on phone (which hours), email, or Skype. Phone or email to discuss goal and year plan and first project, either a speech or a meeting role such as timer.  (Some members like to do roles first, and hear more speeches before doing their own ice breaker first speech. They also need time to prepare the first speech. Also some presidents, such as Sushil of Harrovians, like new members to do two roles before doing their first speech. Other clubs require all members to alternate speeches and roles.)

Mentee

Respond within a week, ideally within 24 hours.

LEARN FROM SUCCESSFUL MENTORS AND CLUBS

If the system doesn't work, try something new. 

CROSS-CLUB BUDDIES

Find another club and pair up mentors. Sometimes a member doesn't like to admit to other cub members that they need help, or other club members are doing different roles and are busy. 

If you need any help in my clubs (HOD, HARROVIANS in the UK, or BRADDELL HEIGHTS ADVANCED Club in Singapore, or any other club worldwide, please email me.  I am doing Mentoring as a High Performance Leadership Project and would be glad to help you. Don't hesitate. Contact me. I shall be glad to hear from you.

AUTHOR AND SPEAKER ANGELA

Angela Lansbury, B A Hons, CL, ACG.

Author of ten books by mainstream publishers and ten self-published through print on demand company Lulu.com:

Wedding Speeches and Toasts. (Ward Lock/Cassell.)

How to be the best man. (Ward Lock/Cassell.)

Quick Quotations. (Lulu.) One line easy to remember quotations.

Who Said What When. (Lulu.) A quotation for the day of the year, somebody who was born, died or gave a famous speech on that day.

(I use quotations from my books if I am asked to quickly brief/mentor a member at a meeting. You can take a free look at the books of quotations on line or if you meet me. If you want to keep a hard copy you can pay for it and the postage and packing on line. Or buy a signed copy from me at meetings. 

Prices range from £6 to £20, depending on the thickness of the book which reflects first, how long it took to research, write and edit - a year, 18 months or two year, and secondly the cost of printing, thirdly plus posting cost which is affected by the weight of the book plus the discount offer from the printers at the time I ordered the books. I can also sign the book and create a quotation as a personalised dedication for you based on your name and skills.

To find my details or contact me within the UK you can use the UK club co-ordination system Easy Speak.

On Facebook general comments are public, but if you become a friend you can also message me privately through the messaging system.

HANDOUT 
Print this page.

German from the President, a former policeman on traffic lights, and chocolates

From left: Jesus, President Jayanthiny, Michael, Krzysztof.

Photo taken and edited by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

"As mentoring co-ordinator I sent around a piece of paper for people to give their name and the name of their mentor. I am mentoring co-ordinator with a committee of Lorna and Ruth.

"The evening opened with Jayanthiny addressing us in German. I know there are German speaking clubs but I don’t think this has ever been done before in an English speaking club. 

"Some people did not recognize which language she was speaking. It was an original idea and I am very keen to see us speaking languages and learning languages. 

Jayanthiny, President of Harrovian Speakers' Club, with the club banner, Michael beside her, on the right tall Krzysztof and Jesus. Photo taken and edited by Angela Lansbury. Copyright 2017. 

"It would have been useful to distribute a handout with the German. I hope she does this again. Next time I would like to hear alternating sentences translated - a sentence in German then Jayanthiny or another could have read the translation in English. 

"That is what you might do at a wedding. I have written books on wedding speeches and wedding etiquette and this is what I would recommend to an audience of mixed languages. 

"Toastmasters has a German manual. Next time I would also like to be emailed the introduction in advance as I am learning German through Duolingo. I could also have acted as interpreter and translated it on paper and at the meeting for my own benefit or for everybody else’s. (I have done simultaneous translation from French at conferences.)

"One of my dreams is to start a multi-lingual online Toastmasters Club. Or an advanced club which is multi-lingual.

"Democracy was the theme of Harrovians' Speakers' Club meeting on Monday June 5th 2017. Toastmaster of the Evening and VPE Sushil had chosen this subject.

"Our first speaker, Adam, was missing because his wife was about to give birth. Everybody had sent him good wishes on Whats Ap during the day. 

"Jesus entertained us with a series of jokes about the funny things children say. 

“Jayanthiny’s speech gave us strategies for selling, five steps, starting with knowing your customers or audience, ending with making sure they see themselves enjoying the successful solution to a problem

"Seema encouraged us to do High Performance Leadership. I learned that you can do this at any stage of your Toastmasters path, although it comes in as an option for the CL manual project on mentoring. 

"Michael Francis gave an entertaining ice breaker speech about his career as a policeman in Wembley. He tested us on our knowledge of real traffic lights, not the ones we use to time speeches. 

"Amparo’s speech topics were bang up to date on the subject of democracy.  Sushil encouraged us all to vote in the elections in the UK held nationally next Thursday.

"When I wrote  the above paragraph, I first wrote that Sushil encouraged us to vote. That was ambiguous. In this context you might have though I meant to encourage us to vote for best speaker. I don't know if he noticed it. He didn't mention it, but he could have linked voting for the best speaker in a Toastmasters meeting to voting in the elections.

"In the interval we were treated to chocolates by a visitor who is planning a chocolate business They taste as good as they look. I do hope she becomes a member!"

Photo taken and edited by Angela Lansbury. Copyright 2017.

I am a professional author and photographer, so If you copy this text elsewhere please quote me and give me the photo credits. Please give me a photo credit for "Photographs by Angela Lansbury.” Or if you are using them to promote Toastmasters on a Toastmaster website "Photos courtesy of Angela Lansbury." If you wish you may add, in the style of Wikipedia : “Photos edited and uploaded to this newsletter / website by user ...(your name)."

Angela Lansbury, author of:

Wedding Speeches and Toasts. (Word Lock and Cassell.)

Quick quotations. (See Lulu and Amazon.)

Who said what when? (Quotations by day of the year. See Lulu.com and Amazon.)

Please bookmark your favourite pasts and share links to them.