What was your most embarrassing moment?

You often get asked this. Now I have one.

Table topic - marriage proposal
At a recent meeting, during the impromptu speeches (called table topics), a speaker was asked:
Think back to when you proposed marriage. Can you tell us what you said or did and how the lady reacted.

Assistant
He replied to the topics master: 'I need a young lady to demonstrate.'

Two or three young ladies declined to come on stage. Maybe they were too shy to come on stage.

I thought it was made for comedy and mime and volunteered, especially as I wanted to be sure of a chance of being on stage, if only as a non-speaking assistant.

I volunteered.

Props
At first it went well. Most of it was very funny. I was presented with a gift (presumably the ring), which the speaker improvised by grabbing large battered brown cardboard box.

I turned it around and over, looked puzzled, looked doubtfully at the audience, shook my head and handed it back.

I think he either said, 'you must take it,' or, 'I'll get you something better later,' so I nodded.

So far, so good.

Sex?
He then said, "You do realise that now you have accepted my marriage proposal this means you have to sleep with me."

My jaw dropped in genuine surprise. More laughter from the audience.

Stage Experience
My speakng on stage experience is sufficient that I have learned that if you allow yourself to be drawn into a discussion about sex on stage you may say something unplanned and regret it later. I learned this, which only happened to me once, when I was asked, What's the best sex you ever had? I should have given a ridiculous answering ending, 'and then I woke up'.

Funny, Side-stepping Answers
In retrospect, I could have adjusted an imaginary hearing aid.I could have asked the audience to vote, then demanded a recount. I could have said, 'Can you repeat that in Mandarin,' or, ' I have to pass it to my lawyer", or, 'you do realise this means you have to undergo a health check for your mental and physical health?'

Flirts
(The speaker frequently flirts like this. When I first met him I was constantly embarrassed. Now I find he does it to everyone. I just move away.)

On stage I could not move away - I suppose I could have run off screaming, but I didn't think of it.

No!
My first thought was to say no - but I can't say no because he will take it as a rejection and a public one and will lose face. Whether I say no, or look shocked or shake my head, it is still a rejection.

I could imagine him saying to me for weeks afterwards, 'You rejected me!'

Yes
On the other hand, I could not say yes. Being a chatty sort, he would possibly go around telling my husband' and his wife and everybody he met that I had said, in public, in front of witnesses, that I would sleep with him.  Out of context, this could be damaging.

Repartee
I think I replied, 'That would be difficult - because we have separate bedrooms - in separate countries.'

I was later emailed and asked if I remembered anything inappropriate.

I have a lot of more major problems requiring decisions involving who lives where, contracts and a lot of money.

I was asked what I thought, by somebody who was absent, a couple of days later.

It took me two days to work out which person, which statement, might have caused offense.

What bothered me at that time, was gone a week later - until I was reminded.

I am friends with all the people concerned, those who were offended, and thought the topics were unsuitable, as well as those who had caused a problem without intending to do so.

When you are a member of a club, these things happen frequently. Those who are offended either make up and become best of friends, or cause a rift for months, sometimes they leave the club, and sometimes the incident is quickly forgotten.

For me, I never wish to cause trouble. It is all a learning experience.

Often least said the better.